Sunday, May 25, 2008

Not the Answer I Wanted

So, many of you know that I was hoping to move to Pennsylvania. I have been talking about it for almost a year and even went out there to look for houses. Ever since I have thought this might be a possibility I have been praying to see if this would be the right decision for my family and I never got a real strong feeling either way. So I figured this meant either way would be fine. So I have been living the last year thinking maybe (hopefully) we will get to move close to my family. I figured if we were going to move I would want to do it before school starts in September, so we would have to put our house up for sale immediatly if that were to be a possibility. So Friday morning I prayed again to know, what in the heck I am suppose to do about this. No answer. Friday night I told Kevin we need to sit and have a serious chat about this, so we did and in the middle of our discussion I got my answer. Only once in my life have I recieved an answer to a prayer more strongly then this came to me. It was not a whisper it was a shout, "You are not moving to Pennsylvania." I sat on the couch and started crying and continued to do this for many hours till I fell asleep that night. Clearly this was not the answer I had hoped for. I really thought that I would be moving out there. I am really sad, really sad. It is really hard for me to be the only kid in my family who does not live driving distance from home, my kids will never really get to know their cousins or that side of the family, which is so sad for me. (As I write this I am crying again.) So to my mom and sisters especially, I am sorry, I had really looked forward to living closer to you, but it is something that is not meant to be (for now at least).

6 comments:

Amara said...

So sad for you. You know, we lived in San Diego all during my growing up time, and all my cousins were up here. We'd come visit once a year. It was really hard, but now as a grown-up, I've really made an extra effort to stay in touch with my cousins because I know how to value them. Maybe later on will be another opportunity to go home.

Andrea said...

Stop making me so sad! And your kids will know their cousins! They see them more almost more then Spence and Riley. One day...

Kelli said...

sad for you right now. I know it's hard to be away from family. What a neat thing though to get such a strong answer from the Lord and to know that you are doing the right thing for you and your family for the time being. I agree with Amara, it takes a lot of effort to keep up relationships with cousins over long distance, but it will be worth it.
But, at the same time, I have to say happy for me and the rest of us who live close by because now we get to enjoy for a little while longer. Horray!!

Princess Gerty said...

I really understand. I have struggled with some of the same kinds of answers lately. What a blessing to be so certain and close to God's guidance! What a blessing blogs emails and phone calls are to keep family closer! It is still sad, though. What a disappointment after a year of hope! I am so sorry!

Debrakaye said...

Are you sure that wasn't Kevin shouting in your ear?? :) None of us are happy about the answer, but I know better than to argue with the Lord. It will all work out...

Zoe said...

Audrey, I am so sorry for this. I am so sorry. I know how badly you wanted this . . .I wanted it for you too, even though it would mean losing you guys here. It could mean just not for now. Who knows? In the meantime, I am glad that we get to keep you guys for a little bit longer. We are going to Texas for a couple of weeks, but when we get back, we need to get together! Love ya!